Bozzword: Parenting

scolding_450x300bṓzz•word: (n.) an industry buzzword that inspires InfoComm VP Joe Bocchiaro to wax poetic. Or if not a buzzword, some other notion that moves Joe to prose — or verse.

Turn that thing down! It’s driving me crazy! If I have to come in there, so help me!
That’s not music! It’s noise! It’s all noise! Noise, noise, NOISE!
How can you listen to that!? It’s all screaming! Why can’t anyone sing anymore?
Can’t we just have some peace and quiet? I can’t hear myself think!

You’re not going out dressed like that! No, everybody does NOT dress like that!
Do you have your ear plugs? Why not? Well find them!
You better bring them or you’re going to go deaf! Do you want to go deaf?
It doesn’t matter what I did when I was a kid. We didn’t know any better.

I didn’t buy you that phone so that you can text your friends during dinner!
Why can’t you just call them? Doesn’t anybody talk to anybody anymore?
Do you have to have your nose in Facebook all day long? What’s so important?
How would you like it if I was texting while you were trying to talk to me?

Don’t sit so close or you’ll go blind! Do you want to go blind? Is that what you want?
Your brain will turn to mush if you watch that. It’s mindless drivel. VACUOUS!
Why don’t you read a book? Doesn’t anyone read books anymore?
Your two hours of TV are up! That’s it. Turn it off. OFF! NOW! I MEAN NOW!

Is that your homework? Is sorting pictures of your friends considered homework now?
Don’t you have a paper to write? That’s what your computer is for!
No I will NOT buy you blank CD’s to burn copies of your friend’s rap collection!
How could you be out of disc space? Have you written another “War and Peace?”

When I was your age we didn’t have video games! We played outside!
No wonder the world is so violent! How many people have you run over already?
Don’t think I’m taking you to the hospital if you get carpal tunnel syndrome!
I don’t care what level you’re on! Go to bed! Good night! I love you!

Love you, too!

— Joe Bocchiaro, 12/2013

About Joe Bocchiaro

Joe Bocchiaro is Director of Standards and Industry Innovations for InfoComm International. He previously was an InfoComm Academy Senior Staff Instructor. He has worked as an audiovisual design consultant with Constantin Walsh-Lowe LLC and Electro-Media Design Ltd. Before that, Joe was Vice President of Media Technologies and Senior Engineer with the New Jersey systems integration firm A.V. Services Inc.

One Response to “Bozzword: Parenting”

  1. Why is your TV still on? White noise? Who is Mrs. Johnson?

    Well, when Mrs. Johnson starts paying the electric bill you can sleep with it on.

    Once again you’re still up late. Don’t come crying to me when you wake up still tired for class.

    Now go to bed. Oh yeah, Yes I still love you.